Don't hang out with the Kool-aid Drinkers! - Wise Friends #1/ Teachable MOMent #4

    Most of us were just toddlers when the cult leader Jim Jones convinced 913 of his 1100 followers to commit group suicide by drinking poison kool-aid. Yet, we still have heard the saying, "Don't drink the kool-aid!"

    Our kids probably haven't heard this, and most of them are too young to even get what this saying means.  However, it is at this young age that they are going to start building friendships that are going to impact their life choices now and in the future. Get involved with helping your child choose good friends.

     Only 17% of the people at what is commonly referred to as the Jonestown Massacre mentioned above did not drink the kool-aid. That was some serious peer pressure! I would like to suggest that it may be easier to teach your kids not to hang out with the kool-aid drinkers than it is to teach them to have the strength and decision making skills to "not drink the kool-aid" when 83% of the people they are around are drinking the kool-aid.

      Proverbs 13:20 teaches us, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

     Our kids are old enough to understand the principle that if you hang out with someone long enough, they will start to rub off on you. Use kool-aid or any sugar free drink mix (Wal-mart's version of Crystal Light's Raspberry Ice is my favorite yummy and very staining drink.) to illustrate this. It stains everything. We took this picture to left on Sunday night and they still had a subtle mustache on their way to school on Monday.

     Sometimes the things our friends convince us to do have silly, temporary affects like our lips, tongue, and red mustache. Unfortunately, some consequences of unwise decisions have more permanent consequences such as your favorite shirt will never look the same, your teeth will become cavity-filled down a sugar-filled drink everyday,  or as serious as the kool-aid drinkers at the Jamestown Massacre.

Do whatever you can to help your kids build relationships with positive peers who are "non-kool-aid drinkers." Do you have any ideas about how we can help our kids make friends with positive peers?

Friendtentional- Guest Blogger Kristin Cook



Diane, Saradee, Whitney, and Kristin

 I am so thankful that I have such wonderful friendships at this stage in my life. I can’t imagine going through ‘mommy-hood’ without them. My friends bless my life through shared  stories, encouragement, help and prayer. However, in the busyness of life, sometimes those friendships can go unattended. Friendships need maintaining, time and effort, in order to grow. Often with all the social media available, we see posts or recent happenings with friends and feel like we are up to speed with what’s going on in their lives and therefore don’t invest in face-to-face time. I have been challenged this year to be more intentional in building closer relationships. Less Facebook time and more face-to-face time. More scheduling fun, girly lunches and/or hosting girls' nights. More good conversations during playdates and coffee dates after the kids are in bed. Friendships are such a blessing and I want to make sure I’m making an intentional effort to give support and encouragement to my friends!

Do you have any great ideas about how to be more friendtentional (intentional about supporting and encouraging your friends)?  We would love to hear about them.

- Kristin Cook owns her own amazing photography business (KristinCookPhotography.com), and is a mother of three young children. She is also a wonderful example of someone who is friendtentional!Thanks for sharing, Kristin.

One-Another Love - Guest Blogger Marcy Schuermann

My two-year old daughter is a social butterfly in the making. Seeing a friend – whether planned or unexpected – is always the peak of her day. As I watch her begin to navigate the waters of relationships, I praise God for designing his children (big and little!) to live in community and fellowship, and for giving us wonderful Scriptures to guide us in this endeavor.

Our gracious God blesses us through our earthly companions and the lessons they teach or inspire on our journey through this broken world! As I spend time with my daughter thanking God for our friends and the ways He has used our friends to bless us, she learns not only the value of fellowship, but also learns what kind of friend she likes to have and what kind of friend God wants her to BE! Being a good friend goes beyond taking turns with a favorite toy. Good friends are encouraging, supportive, honest, forgiving, servant-hearted, kind – the list goes on and on! The Word is packed with more than 50 “one-another” commands that we can both model for our children and use to encourage and admonish them as they learn to be good friends.

Memorizing and applying some of these verses together is a great way to guide our children in their relationships.  If our child persists in complaining about a visiting friend who took a toy or knocked her down, we can remind them of I Peter 4:9, "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." When we meet friends for lunch, we demonstrate I Corinthians 11:33, which instructs us to "wait for each other" before we eat. They learn by example Galatians 5:13, "serve one another in love", when we deliver a meal to a sick friend or a new mom - even though it slows us down a bit when they tag along! Helping our kids exhibit “one-another” friendship can be as simple as picking out fun notecards and helping them write encouraging notes to playmates or schoolmates in the spirit of 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” The possibilities are endless. Life will not neglect to present regular opportunities for us, and our children to love one another!

-- Marcy Schuermann is a stay at home mom to her two girls, Amelia (2 years) and Norah (5 months).  She serves in children's ministry at her church, and previously worked as a public relations director for an education nonprofit.  She is also a wonderful example of friend who displays one-another love. Thanks Marcy, for sharing!

"Peaches" - Guest Blogger Tana Schuermann

I consistently remind my 7-year-old son, "Your sister can be your best friend."  He often plays well with his 3-year-old sister, but inevitably at some point she starts to drive him crazy arrousing his grouchy, critical, and impatient tone that siblings often use with each other. Proverbs 15: 1 is a favorite verse we use to encourage kindness and patience during these occasions, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but mean words stir up anger.”

One day while watching one of my son's favorite movies - Ice Age, I had a "lightbulb" moment of how I could help my son understand how to apply this verse. The wooly mammoth couple is expecting a baby and their code word for when she is going to have the baby is "peaches." So, I asked my son if he would like to have a super top-secret code word that just we knew about (well until now of course). We talked about peaches and how they are sweet and fuzzy and soft and how kind words to his sister should be just like a peach - sweet, soft and fuzzy like cuddling with a warm blanket or a gentle hug. He thought having a super secret code word just like in his favorite movie was the best idea ever! So at dinner the next night when he started getting on to his little sister, I simply looked his way and said, “Peaches.” No one else even asked what we were talking about, but he gave me a little wink. His tone of voice changed immediately, and I could tell he was weighing his words. At bedtime he said, “I think this code word thing is working great!” What a refreshing response to correction! Instead of feeling discouraged by my continual reminders as usual; he was happy, and encouraged to be included in a special secret club. 

Parenting advice often suggests letting siblings work things out on their own. Yet a wise friend of mine with five grown boys insists that this principal only applies after training has occured, because unkind words can cause lasting wounds. By working with my son on how to speak kindly to his sister, even in moments of frustration, I’m hoping to cultivate a friendship between the two of them that goes beyond the obligatory sibling love and lasts a lifetime.

 - Tana Schuermann is a former teacher, current stay-at-home mother of three, and has a multitude of ministries.  Most of all she is one of the peachiest girls I know. Thanks for sharing Tana! 

Do you have any great suggestions for sibling rivalry or impatience? E-mail Sarah or comment to share your great ideas with all of us.

Common & Close Friends - Welcoming Wednesdays

My Bosom Friend Sarah (& family)

           Do you remember the moment that you found a new friend because you had something in common.  It usually sounds something like, "What? You too? I also like _______. I thought I was the only one!" I remember that first conversation that I had with my soon-to-be best college friend when we realized that we were both named Sarah Elizabeth. (We didn't know at the time that the name Sarah Elizabeth is one of the most common girl name combos of all times. Now I even have a sister-in-law with my same exact name - Sarah Elizabeth Holmes!)  What we soon found out was that we had many more things in common as well - tastes in clothes, goals, core beliefs, love of dancing, etc. etc.. We are still true "bosom friends."
          One of the best things that we had in common was our group of friends. See friendship love is unlike romantic love. It is not supposed to be jealous. It should welcome other friends to share in the friendship because they only deepen and add more - not take away.  C.S. Lewis explains this better than I can.  He says, "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights other than my own to show all his facets."  As silly girls, we are often tempted to be jealous about just about everything. Don't leave out others thinking you are helping your really close friendships grow stronger.  When we welcome others into our circle of friends, we are deepening our current relationships, showing God's love to others, as well as being an example and an encouragement for our children to do the same. 
          Including others is an extremely important lesson for our children (especially girls) to learn.  Do you have any ideas about how we can become better at this ourselves or teach our children in this area? I would love to hear what any of my friends say. You see we are friends since we have this common interest in seeing our families grow in Christian character.