I Don't Feel Fun Anymore - Kindness Finale

God knows that kindness is important and that we struggle with it. That is why it made his top lists:

-Top 7 list of what older women should teach young women (see verses below)
-Top 9 list of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22&23)
-Top 8 list in II Peter 1: 4-8 of qualities needed to keep us from being ineffective in our witness and walk with Christ.

Titus 2:4-5 says, "Then they (the older women) may encourage the young women to:
1. love their husbands,
2. to love their children,
3. to be sensible,
4. pure,5. workers at home,
6. to be  KIND,
7. being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored."

You are probably familiar with this passage of Scripture in Titus. Before we get married and have kids, we never think we are ever going to have trouble being kind or loving to our families. However, that is not reality. Carolyn Mahaney in her superb book Feminine Appeal says,

"Along with the many delights of marriage and motherhood comes a myriad of temptations to unkindness that we often do not anticipate."

 

I know I sometimes wonder what happened to that fun-loving girl with the infectious laughter and love for her husband sparkling in her eyes. Do you give kind service with a smile like this silly photo above, or help with a huffy attitude like I have been doing lately? It is easy to let the daily worries of life weigh down your heart and walk with God. When I try to do everything in my own strength, I usually forget to be that tiny word--KIND--that has a big impact on my family.

This month, I am striving to seek God's power and wisdom to overcome my unkind feelings. Stay tuned to hear about how we are going to overcome our weighed down hearts with God's wisdom and wise choices.

Do you have any words of wisdom for me?

Always be Kinder than you Feel

Wake up and face the Monday Moms!

Today I would like to encourage you to do something that my husband and wish I was better at. I am not sure why I woke up in such a funk today, but I am still not up to par. It may have something to do with the thunderstorm that kept me and two of my girls awake most of the night, but there is really no excuse.

These feelings reminded me of some good advice I found from balzerdesigns.typepad.com.

She says her marriage is helped by her following this simple rule:
"BE KINDER THAN YOU FEEL."

The real beauty of kindness is when we:
(1)ask God to help us and
(2)actually take action to be kinder than we feel, we almost always will then
(3) begin to feel kinder as well.

 Can you think of a time when this was true for you?

 

What Makes Happy Kids?

Over the past few years there has been an explosion of hundreds of different scientific studies on the pursuit of happiness.  Check out these very interesting results from one definitive study about the three key factors that lead to happiness.
First Factor  - 50% of our happiness is determined by our DNA - I could not believe this percentage was so large.  However, any moms who have two very different children can understand this concept.  Just like me, you may have one child who has a natural tendency to view the glass as half full and another who tends to view it as half empty. (However, keep in mind that you can overcome negative natural tendencies with practice and the power of the Holy Spirit.)

Second Factor - 10% of our happiness is determined by our circumstances - I would have thought this percentage would have been higher. However, this is why you may know rich and powerful people who are not happy, and poor people who are full of joy. 

Which "Happiness Trigger" is Grandpa practicing?

Third Factor - 40% of our happiness is determined by life choices - These are the decisions that we make or ways we decide to spend our time and energies. Out of these choices there are 5 "Happiness Triggers" that you can do that tend to make people more happy.
        1.  Express Gratitude.
        2. Try knew things (Courage).
        3. Be kind to others.
        4. Play (the ability to be silly).
        5. Spend time with close friends or family.

I was excited to realize the first 3 of the 5 happiness triggers are character qualities - gratefulness, courage, and kindness.  So if we want to help our kids be happier, we can help them grow in character.  Last month, we focused on #2 Courage, so this month we will focus on #3 Kindness.

This weekend your assignment is to focus on #4 and #5 - Play with your family. Do something for no other reason than to be silly with your kids. What silly things make your kids happy?

Free Kindness/Back-to-School Download

Free Downloads at TheCharacterMom.com

Happy August! This summer flew by. It is already time to get ready to go back to school. This month's focus:
      1. Back-to-School Activities &
      2. Teaching Kindness

Your kid's teachers are there to teach them reading, writing, and arithmetic, but it is your job to teach them kindness.  A lesson in kindness is actually one of the best ways to prepare your child for school.

Use the fun and simple ideas in this free download to start teaching kindness today!

I would love to hear about any fun and purposeful
back-to-school activities you and your kids do.

"Peaches" - Guest Blogger Tana Schuermann

I consistently remind my 7-year-old son, "Your sister can be your best friend."  He often plays well with his 3-year-old sister, but inevitably at some point she starts to drive him crazy arrousing his grouchy, critical, and impatient tone that siblings often use with each other. Proverbs 15: 1 is a favorite verse we use to encourage kindness and patience during these occasions, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but mean words stir up anger.”

One day while watching one of my son's favorite movies - Ice Age, I had a "lightbulb" moment of how I could help my son understand how to apply this verse. The wooly mammoth couple is expecting a baby and their code word for when she is going to have the baby is "peaches." So, I asked my son if he would like to have a super top-secret code word that just we knew about (well until now of course). We talked about peaches and how they are sweet and fuzzy and soft and how kind words to his sister should be just like a peach - sweet, soft and fuzzy like cuddling with a warm blanket or a gentle hug. He thought having a super secret code word just like in his favorite movie was the best idea ever! So at dinner the next night when he started getting on to his little sister, I simply looked his way and said, “Peaches.” No one else even asked what we were talking about, but he gave me a little wink. His tone of voice changed immediately, and I could tell he was weighing his words. At bedtime he said, “I think this code word thing is working great!” What a refreshing response to correction! Instead of feeling discouraged by my continual reminders as usual; he was happy, and encouraged to be included in a special secret club. 

Parenting advice often suggests letting siblings work things out on their own. Yet a wise friend of mine with five grown boys insists that this principal only applies after training has occured, because unkind words can cause lasting wounds. By working with my son on how to speak kindly to his sister, even in moments of frustration, I’m hoping to cultivate a friendship between the two of them that goes beyond the obligatory sibling love and lasts a lifetime.

 - Tana Schuermann is a former teacher, current stay-at-home mother of three, and has a multitude of ministries.  Most of all she is one of the peachiest girls I know. Thanks for sharing Tana! 

Do you have any great suggestions for sibling rivalry or impatience? E-mail Sarah or comment to share your great ideas with all of us.