What Makes Happy Kids?

Over the past few years there has been an explosion of hundreds of different scientific studies on the pursuit of happiness.  Check out these very interesting results from one definitive study about the three key factors that lead to happiness.
First Factor  - 50% of our happiness is determined by our DNA - I could not believe this percentage was so large.  However, any moms who have two very different children can understand this concept.  Just like me, you may have one child who has a natural tendency to view the glass as half full and another who tends to view it as half empty. (However, keep in mind that you can overcome negative natural tendencies with practice and the power of the Holy Spirit.)

Second Factor - 10% of our happiness is determined by our circumstances - I would have thought this percentage would have been higher. However, this is why you may know rich and powerful people who are not happy, and poor people who are full of joy. 

Which "Happiness Trigger" is Grandpa practicing?

Third Factor - 40% of our happiness is determined by life choices - These are the decisions that we make or ways we decide to spend our time and energies. Out of these choices there are 5 "Happiness Triggers" that you can do that tend to make people more happy.
        1.  Express Gratitude.
        2. Try knew things (Courage).
        3. Be kind to others.
        4. Play (the ability to be silly).
        5. Spend time with close friends or family.

I was excited to realize the first 3 of the 5 happiness triggers are character qualities - gratefulness, courage, and kindness.  So if we want to help our kids be happier, we can help them grow in character.  Last month, we focused on #2 Courage, so this month we will focus on #3 Kindness.

This weekend your assignment is to focus on #4 and #5 - Play with your family. Do something for no other reason than to be silly with your kids. What silly things make your kids happy?

Bring Home the Bread! - Money Fights #3

I say, "We are out of bread (or other household staples like butter, cheese, milk, etc.). We need to go to the store right away."

He says, "It is fun to see how long you can go surviving on what we have. Wait until payday."

I don't know why I feel like a bad mom when I don't have the exact food or snack that my children want. My husband on the other hand relishes these moments to teach our kids patience, resourcefulness,  and gratefulness.  After the whining subsides, I am continually surprised at the fun meals that are concocted from the supplies in our cupboard.  Everyone was pleasantly surprised when I actually made buscuits a couple of weeks ago because we were out of store-bought bread and tortillas for so long.

What has your family surprisingly survived on when money was tight?

I thank God for you because... - Mother's Day Memories #3

Daily life as a mom requires that we talk to our kids about things they don't like to hear often - correction, chores, homework, bedtime, etc..  Let's try to balance all these negative words with some positive ones. Tell your kid why you think they are so great!  Here are some simple ideas.

1. Write a short note and put it:
                in their lunch box
                on their pillow
                on the bathroom mirror or sink.
2. Make a new special place where you can leave notes for them regularly:
                 a pillow with a pocket in it
                 a see through plastic paper protector taped up on the shower
                 a white board next to the toilet.
3. Make plans to make a long list:
                 10 reasons I love my 10 year old.
                 Message in a Bottle - My husband filled an old bottle with tiny messages for me.
                 Medicine Bottle - fill it with little notes to help them feel better when they are down.
                 On a deck of cards - 52 reasons I thank God for you for the 52 weeks in a year
                 (These last two ideas were from my Bible study leader, Elaine, who inspires me often)

I would love to hear about your ideas for encouraging your children.

When I write these encouraging words to my kids it is amazing to see how my heart is softened toward them as I remind myself of how great my kids really are.  When I have a grateful heart toward them, it is much easier to tolerate the few things about them that aren't so great.  Have a great weekend being an encouraging and grateful mom!
P.S. I am sure your husband would love for you to encourage him as well.

Can you Force Kids to be Grateful?

        If you have not written thank you notes for Christmas yet, it is never too late to show gratefulness (although I think Emily Post says try to do it within two weeks).  I know getting kids to write thank you notes is no easy task, so last weekend, I employed my husband's help. First, I got out all the paints, stencils, and paper - to add the fun factor. Then I took captive all the things my kids had received for Christmas. My husband broke the news that they could not have their gifts back AT ALL if they had not written a thank you note for it without complaining before bedtime.  He is a hardcore genius! This method worked much better than my idea of just keeping their presents until a note was written eventually.  I admit that I was worried I would end up with some barely used Christmas presents in my possession.  However, once they started painting, the initial shock and crankiness wore off quickly and they actually had a fun night of creativily showing their true gratefulness.
       So to answer the title question: No, you cannot force kids to be grateful in their heart, but you can require them to show gratefulness.  The beauty in this above example, and that I experience often personally, is that my heart is sometimes reluctant to have the right attitude.  However, when my right actions and right thoughts lead the way, my heart attitude usually follows.
       Do you have any good ideas that you would like to share about teaching your kids gratefulness?

Moms Don't Get Sick Days - Mom Monday

I am writing this to you today as my head is pounding, my throat is on fire, and my whole body aches; so I am going to make this short. Sometimes as moms it is easy to focus on the negative, especially when you are not feeling well.  It is true. Moms generally don't get sick days, but I just wanted to write you and myself an encouraging note to remind us that God is faithful and will not give us more than we can handle.  For instance, I am blessed that I am at the end of this three day sickness, and my wonderful husband watched the kids, made a few meals, and even changed one dirty diaper so I was able to get some rest this weekend.  I have much to be grateful for. This weekend I was reminded of my faithful God, faithful husband, kind children, and my general health.  A three day sickness is very minor compared to what some others are facing.