"Peaches" - Guest Blogger Tana Schuermann

I consistently remind my 7-year-old son, "Your sister can be your best friend."  He often plays well with his 3-year-old sister, but inevitably at some point she starts to drive him crazy arrousing his grouchy, critical, and impatient tone that siblings often use with each other. Proverbs 15: 1 is a favorite verse we use to encourage kindness and patience during these occasions, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but mean words stir up anger.”

One day while watching one of my son's favorite movies - Ice Age, I had a "lightbulb" moment of how I could help my son understand how to apply this verse. The wooly mammoth couple is expecting a baby and their code word for when she is going to have the baby is "peaches." So, I asked my son if he would like to have a super top-secret code word that just we knew about (well until now of course). We talked about peaches and how they are sweet and fuzzy and soft and how kind words to his sister should be just like a peach - sweet, soft and fuzzy like cuddling with a warm blanket or a gentle hug. He thought having a super secret code word just like in his favorite movie was the best idea ever! So at dinner the next night when he started getting on to his little sister, I simply looked his way and said, “Peaches.” No one else even asked what we were talking about, but he gave me a little wink. His tone of voice changed immediately, and I could tell he was weighing his words. At bedtime he said, “I think this code word thing is working great!” What a refreshing response to correction! Instead of feeling discouraged by my continual reminders as usual; he was happy, and encouraged to be included in a special secret club. 

Parenting advice often suggests letting siblings work things out on their own. Yet a wise friend of mine with five grown boys insists that this principal only applies after training has occured, because unkind words can cause lasting wounds. By working with my son on how to speak kindly to his sister, even in moments of frustration, I’m hoping to cultivate a friendship between the two of them that goes beyond the obligatory sibling love and lasts a lifetime.

 - Tana Schuermann is a former teacher, current stay-at-home mother of three, and has a multitude of ministries.  Most of all she is one of the peachiest girls I know. Thanks for sharing Tana! 

Do you have any great suggestions for sibling rivalry or impatience? E-mail Sarah or comment to share your great ideas with all of us.